Today

Today I am looking at my relationship with God.

The emphasis for our student ministry this year is "One." We are striving toward becoming unified in our purpose as believers, in becoming the body of Christ. "One" is also our theme this year for Disciple Now and for Camp. We are truly making a concerted effort at becoming one.

The first step in that process is being a believer, having an intimate relationship with God. The key is on the relationship. We've been looking at improving our relationship with God, studying prayer and Bible study, looking at scripture that advocate and teach us about both.

I'm not writing about that, though. I'm looking at my own relationship with God. How can I teach it unless I really have it? How can I encourage my students in theirs if mine is off even a little?

This blog is taking an interesting turn. When I started, I had no intention of mentioning this next part. I recently picked up the book "Twilight." I know that many people are not fiction readers, but I just can't help myself. I was not immediately drawn to this book, mostly because I thought it was a teenage romance novel. I'm not at all drawn to most love stories, I think they're too predictable and fake. I'm also not very sentimental, preferring instead the sharp bite of sarcasm and cynicism. This book, however is different. I won't go into detail except to say that the two characters sacrifice and struggle so much with their relationship, because they want it to continue. They give up things they are naturally drawn to. They hurt physically and emotionally because of the choices they make to be together.

I bring this up not because of some deep theological truth, the book is just a book and I'm probably more juvenile than I would like to admit for having read it in the first place. I bring it up because I'm not like those characters very much. When things get difficult I naturally withdraw, not seeking to cause myself any pain or discomfort.

I wonder what it would be like to truly pursue God with this kind of passion, with this kind of drive, concerning myself not with my pain, but with my objective, not Heaven, but God himself.

Isn't that what our pursuit should be like? Isn't that what Jesus did? Isn't that the path the Peter, John, and Paul took? I think the point is that the motivation does not come from within. We can't muster up that kind of passion if we try. The motivation must be external, pulling us irresistibly toward the prize. I know that sounds a little Calvinistic, but oh well.

Wow, this got a bit long and a bit weird. Welcome to the mind of Carl.