Pride (Not in the name of Love)

Throwing that title out for my friend Rick. U2 fans should get that one.

This morning I was spending some time reading and praying and I discovered something about myself that I knew, but didn't really grasp the depth of it. I did not like what I found. I am a prideful person. Perhaps most of us could say that, but I am a prideful person. I never realized how deep it goes, either. I'm reading John Burke's (No Perfect People Allowed) newest book "Soul Revolution" and was very convicted. Throughout the book he invites readers to take the 60-60 challenge. This is to spend 60 minutes a day with God for 60 days. In the first chapter he asks a couple of questions, "What do I really desire?" and "How will I really get it?" As I sat and thought about my answers, I didn't like the response I got from myself. I want really selfish things. I want people to like me. I want to be thought of as intelligent. I want to be thought of as cultured. I want people to come to me for advice. I want money. I want nice things. I am very ashamed as I write this right now. The other thing is (this hurts) I thought I was above all those desires.

It's a painful thing to realize how deep you are into this stuff. I only hope that I can allow myself to be rescued. In my spirit, I don't want to be like this. Deep inside there's a longing for me to let go of these desires and completely trust in the Father. I want to experience him in a very real way every day. I want to know him more.

I pray you'll all forgive me. This is one of the most painful things I've ever written. I would welcome your prayers.

Make Disciples

I was just reading back over the Great Commission and something stuck out to me. I've heard many discussions on what Jesus meant when he said "go." I've heard some say Jesus meant "as you are going, make disciples" and I've heard others say Jesus meant "go and make disciples." The difference is subtle, but there. One implies Jesus means to actively go and make disciples, sort of a call to missions. The other implies that as you go about your normal activities, pursue relationships in which you could make disciples.

I'm not sure that either is 100% accurate. I am no Greek scholar, so I have very little credibility with this subject in the area of languages, but it seems to me that Jesus might not have been making a distinction. Perhaps the verb tense and usage are not as important as the simple idea that we are supposed to make disciples. It seems to me that Jesus is more concerned with our action in this area as opposed to our understanding of ancient languages. Now I'm all for scholarship and accuracy, but I think Jesus is more concerned with action and lifestyle.

I pray that I'm more focused on making disciples than debating theology.

Jesus Wants to Save Christians

Just picked up this book by Rob Bell last Sunday. Remarkable! I've always enjoyed hearing Rob preach, but had a hard time getting into some of his books, but this one has been amazing! He walks through scripture parallelling Old Testament promises with New Testament realities. It's really been an incredible journey. Check it out!

Up next: The Jesus of Suburbia by Mike Erre

Living with Risk

A few years ago there was a movie starring Ben Stiller and Jennifer Aniston called "Along Came Polly."  In this movie Ben Stiller was a risk analyst for an insurance company, a person who looked at a person's life and determined if they were too risky to insure.  In the end, he comes to the conclusion that all of life is a risk and we can't isolate ourselves from everything dangerous.

I believe we've become a "riskless" people.  We strive so hard to make ourselves safe from everything, burrowing ourselves into the ground and hiding from everything that might prevent us from living to be 100.  In doing so, we limit our effectiveness for the Kingdom of God.  By eliminating risk, we tell God that we aren't willing to depend on him for everything.

I'm finishing up a book by Francis Chan called "Crazy Love."  This read has been a combination of joy and conviction, reveling in the love of God and then immediately facing the conviction of my pathetic response to this love.  In the last chapter of the book, Chan talks about our desire to build up a safety net that will catch us just in case God doesn't come through.  I pray this isn't what my life is like.  I understand about responsibility and taking care of my family, but I pray I lead my family to rely on God.  I pray we rely on God so much that if he doesn't come through, we fail miserably.  I think of Job, the kind of pain he went through.  I pray my response to every situation is "The Lord gives, and the Lord takes away.  Blessed be the name of the Lord."

I pray I never fear risk.

The Persistance of the Church

I wonder how long churches are supposed to be incorporated. If the church is really the people, then why does First Baptist Church of Anywhere last for 200 years or more? Why aren't churches more fluid and organic, living while the people who started it are alive and transitioning to something else as the people die away. I don't believe this is heretical or even mean. I'm just trying to understand the nature of the church as a body.

As I think about this, I'm trying to understand what the original intent of the church was supposed to be. As I read scripture, I'm convinced that the church is much more of an organic body than a static structure. If the body doesn't change and grow, it stagnates and dies. In my mind, I'm beginning to wonder if that means a body should morph into something else as members die away and new life comes into it. If a church is really the people, this seems to be the only way it can persist. It must change, it must grow, painfully if necessary. The church is alive, it is moving. To limit its growth or its ability to redirect its focus is to risk killing it altogether.

Perhaps churches shouldn't try to exist for hundreds of years. Perhaps churches should be planted with the mindset that after a certain amount of time they would re-incorporate as something different, a new body with a new mindset.

If we began to view the church as a living organism and not a static body, I believe it would help us understand what and who we're supposed to be as individuals. I think we would be more loving as a people and less interested in maintaining our political power. I think establishment breeds pride and apathy, two things that bring about destruction wherever they are allowed to exist.

I'm not completely sure how to process all of this, just an thought I had this morning.

Going to Mars

I think we as the human race should put forth an effort to go to Mars.

I know this sounds ridiculous to most people, but the human timeline of history has been a list of discoveries. In the past, discovery was all about beating someone else, being the first person or nation to do something or go somewhere. Now it seems there is no more competition to do anything, except make more money so we can better rule the world. What has happened to our sense of awe with creation? Why would we not want to learn more about the universer we're in?

I remember in school being overwhelmed by space. I loved studying space and the history of space travel. I own the HBO miniseries "From the Earth to the Moon." I am still awed by the space travel that happened 40 years ago. July 20 of this year marks the 40th anniversary of man's landing on the moon. After a few short trips (only 12 people have ever set foot on the moon) the lunar program was cancelled. Since then, space travel has been limited to low-earth orbit, space stations, and telescopes that don't always work right away. We've sent probes to other countries and even out of the solar system, but no man has left the gravitational pull of the earth in over 30 years.

Isn't there something to be said for exploration just to see what's out there? Isn't there something exciting and stirring about that? Or have we all become so crass and cynical as to only be moved by financial gain anymore?

I ask these questions because to me there is a greater thing at risk. If we fail to be awed by the physical universe around us, what's to keep us from failing to be awed by an invisible God? I'm sure some pious people will tell me that we're not supposed to worship creation but the Creator. I understand that and I don't believe that's my mistake. I believe that by being dazzled by creation we are being awed by the Creator himself, by the work he has done.

I believe we should go to Mars.

What Kind of Day Has It Been

Disciple Now 2009 is over. As I recover from the many hours spent planning and pick up and put away decorations, stage sets, and various other bits lying around, I pause to reflect on what we experienced. The theme for the weekend was "One." It dealt with pursuing our relationship with God, our Father. We asked of our students nothing more and nothing less than them pursuing and maintaining an intimate relationship with God. Like any of us has to work on our marriage or the relationship with our children or our parents or our employer, we must work on our relationship with God. We challenged beliefs and the status quo. I'm sure we offended some people. I pray only that the Spirit of God was heard.

I've never experienced the kind of effort that went into this event. Not that we tried to contrive anything, but just the planning and execution of a community-wide event of this nature required a lot of work, work I never dreamed of. I've never spent so much time in prayer for an event. I've never seen people in the community get as involved as they did in this event. There were three sponsor churches involved, but at least 8 churches represented by students. I even had one couple volunteer their house and they attend a church in another city. It was remarkable how that worked out because the husband and oldest daughter of this family turned out to be on a prayer team for a tribe in Africa that the group leader in their house had just spent two weeks with this past January. Though I expect things like this to happen, I never cease to be amazed at how God chooses to work.

This past weekend we experienced a moving of God. As with any movement of the Spirit, lives are changed. How much and for how long largely depends on the individual's response and commitment. This is always the intangible you long to know, but for which you can never plan. My only prayer in that is that each of us will take what the Lord revealed to us and put in to action in our own lives.

What kind of day has it been? It's been a good day. Now I rest in the arms of the Father.